Contempt

Well, good morning, everyone.

It's my joy and pleasure to introduce this series and do the first of two talks today.

How about you join me in prayer?

Father, I am so thankful for this opportunity to talk this morning, Lord, and we are so thankful for the work you give us to do while we're on this earth.

Lord, we pray that as we try and pursue Christ's likeness over this next three weeks, and for the rest of our lives, Lord, that you'll give us grace to do the work that you require us to do.

Father, we pray these things in your heavenly name, amen.

Well, it truly is.

It is my joy and pleasure to be here this morning.

The last time I gave a talk at church was at this church.

It had a different name.

It was in a different building.

And I remember it was a really cold evening outside, which meant it was a really cold evening inside as well.

The red brick building had terrible insulation.

So it's lovely to, and it certainly didn't have an online presence.

So yeah, welcome to everyone online as well.

Yeah, it's lovely to be sitting in this beautiful building.

And I did in my notes say on this beautiful day, but it's not a particularly beautiful day, but yeah, particularly this lovely building.

A topic that is not lovely is contempt.

Contempt, it's one of those, I would say, root sins.

When you have contempt, it's sort of like the spark that starts the fire of other sin.

And it is, it's one of those gross sins, as is any sin when you think about it too much.

And you know this from your experience of when someone has held you in contempt.

It's like your opinion, oh, it's just not valid.

You feel unappreciated.

You feel unseen.

Like your intention and your motives, look, they're just not up to scratch.

And I think that particularly the hard thing about contempt, as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt.

It's often people we know and we love and we respect who hold us in contempt.

I think making it all the more personal that someone we know and love is sort of unwilling to see our heart and see our motives.

But the thing about contempt is that despite us knowing this feeling of being held in contempt, I think we are so quick to hold other people in contempt as well.

And that's just it about contempt.

Contempt is assuming that you know better than someone else.

Rather than standing alongside your brother or sister, your work colleague, your spouse, you stand in a position of authority.

Contempt is, I am superior to you.

I don't need to understand necessarily the ins and outs of your life.

I can just stand here in judgment.

Contempt is this inner attitude that I am superior.

And as I was saying, I think it's really, contempt is a root sin.

If you have contempt, you see these flow on effects, the sparking on of more sin.

It's this spark that starts the fire for more sin.

We see that in Luke 18, 9 to 14, Jesus teaches on contempt.

If we bring up the slide, thank you.

And I'll read off this one, because my version is a little different on here.

The parable of the Pharisee and the text collector.

Jesus told this parable to those who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt.

Two men went up to the temple to pray.

One a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.

The Pharisee standing by himself was praying thus, God, I thank you that I am not like these other people.

These thieves, these rogues, these adulterers, these tax collector, even this tax collector.

I fast twice a week.

I give a tenth of all my income, but the tax collector, he stood far off and he would not even lift his eyes to the temple.

He beat his breast and said, God, be merciful to me for I am a sinner.

I tell you, this man, the tax collector, went home justified rather than the other.

For all who exalt themselves will be humbled and all who humble themselves will be exalted.

There's two players in this parable, the Pharisee and the tax collector.

The Pharisee, well, he tithes, he fasts, he prays, he's not an adulterer, he's not a thief or a rogue or whatever that means.

And he's certainly not a tax man or a tax collector, yet he leaves the temple unjustified or not forgiven.

Yet the tax man, and you've got to remember the tax man's almost just like straight out calling this guy a sinner, because the tax man, they worked for the Romans who oppressed the Jews.

So at the very least, whenever someone is called a tax man, it means that they weren't liked by their countrymen.

And at the worst, it means that they were corrupt, they stole from their countrymen, they took bribes, they oppressed their people for the Romans, the Jewish people's oppressors.

But the tax man, he leaves justified, he leaves forgiven.

And the Pharisee, he's left unjustified, not because of his actions, fasting, praying, tithing, and these things in of themselves.

That's not the reason why he's left unjustified.

The Pharisees left unjustified or unforgiven because he assumes that he's superior because of his actions.

His contempt for other people poison him and leave him unjustified.

His feelings of superiority because of his actions, they poisoned him and they poisoned his inner thoughts.

And interestingly, the Pharisee calls out the tax collector and says, oh, thankfully, I'm not like him.

But the tax man is the one who leaves justified.

The Pharisee's position of superiority stopped him from seeing the heart of his brother.

Contempt, ultimately, is a lack of humility that results in an unwillingness to see the intention of other people.

It's that I am superior, I am above you, which stops you from seeing side to side, person to person.

In that position of authority, you can't see and understand another's heart or their intention.

But the hard thing about contempt, despite, as I was saying, it's sort of this root sin that sparks off other fires, contempt sits inwardly.

For us, it sits and resides and slowly works away at us from the inside.

And occasionally, it peaks out in those snarky comments or your inaction to help a friend out, because, well, they got themselves there, they can sort it out themselves.

But for the most part, contempt sits inwardly, waiting for the opportunity to pounce.

And as I enjoy doing, I had heaps of time to sort of work on this talk.

Jono asked me nearly three months ago, it's a lot of time to mull over a topic as deep as contempt.

But I enjoy searching through PubMed, which is an online database of medical research.

Not a psychologist, I didn't really go down the psychology route, so I was looking at sort of what was out there in terms of medical research or health research.

Did you know couples who have high levels of contempt have more frequent bouts of infectious illnesses, things like colds and flus?

People who have high levels of contempt, it changes your immune cell function.

You end up with more of these bad guy, inflammatory cytokines, TNF, tumor necrosis factor, alpha, go home and Google it.

It's a bad guy that goes around and causes insulin resistance, cell death.

People with high levels of contempt end up with these internal changes based on their contempt levels.

Contempt, despite dwelling within us quietly, is not silent.

It is changing you intimately on the inside.

Contempt also affects our relationships.

No surprises, a sin that results in you elevating yourself above other people impacts your relationship to be alongside people.

The Gottman Institute, which is an evidence-based psychology institute out of the US, started by Professor John Gottman, who is a professor of psychology at a high-profile university.

He started this institute, and one of the, he says that one of the greatest predictors of divorce in marriages is contempt.

Those with high levels of contempt go on to have high rates of divorce.

Contempt, despite dwelling quietly on the inside, is poisoning you, is poisoning your relationship with other people, but it is impacting your relationship with Jesus as well.

It's no surprise that when we have sin in our life, it impacts our relationship with Jesus, but contempt is one of those ones that I think particularly does this slow-burner poison, poisoning our relationship with Jesus.

And you know this for yourself.

You know that if you've got sin or if you've got contempt sort of dwelling within, that you limit your time with Jesus.

Maybe you turn up to Bible, your like devotions and it's a bit of a busier day.

So you just jump and catch the earlier train or you sit down to do your prayers, but you're a little bit more quickly distracted.

And over time, the effect on this is a reduction, a reducing amount of the intimacy and vulnerability you have with Jesus.

Not because Jesus is distant from you, but because we slowly over time put up these walls because of contempt and because of the sin within us.

Matthew 522, Jesus compares contempt to murder.

Matthew 522, again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, says to a brother or sister, rukkah is answerable to the court.

And anyone who says, you fool, will be in the danger of the fire of hell.

Rukkah, this word you say when you hold someone in contempt, it means empty-headed, fool, namskal.

When you hold someone in contempt, you are in the danger of the fire of hell.

But then he goes on to say, in verses 23 to 24, therefore, if you're offering your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift in front of the altar.

First, go and be reconciled to them.

Go and be reconciled to your brother or sister.

Then come and offer your gift.

Contempt affects our relationship with Jesus because you cannot come before Jesus with contempt in your heart.

Matthew Henry, a pastor from the 1600s, said of this passage, Christian love and peace with all our brethrens.

And if at any time there is a quarrel, we should confess our faults, humble ourselves to our brothers or sister, making an offering for satisfaction for wrong done in word or deed.

And we should be quick to do this.

Because till this is done, we are unfit for holy communion with God.

You can't come before God with contempt in your heart.

And I don't mean, like literally, right now you can't come before God with contempt in your heart.

Thankfully, that's not the way it works, because none of us would be here today.

But contempt slowly poisons your relationship with Jesus.

It's literally poisoning you from the inside out, poisoning your relationship with others, and poisoning your relationship with Jesus.

But thankfully, this sermon series is not, feel ashamed for my contempt, feel ashamed or feel guilty for my sin.

No, this series is God's grace is sufficient to overcome contempt.

It is sufficient to overcome sin.

And you've probably heard this saying by Ben or John O like a million times.

It's a Dallas Willard quote, which is very fitting.

And it goes something like this.

The true believer burns grace like a 747 burns fuel on takeoff.

And I was recently on a flight.

It was a Jetstar flight, so I had a little bit more time to think because it was delayed.

As we're sitting there on the tarmac, I'm sort of mulling over what I want to say for this and how you go from being ashamed because of your sin and the weight of your sin to changing.

And that's grace because grace is like a fuel, fuel for the work required.

And as I'm sitting there in this plane and the engine starts spooling up and you feel the plane start to shake as it starts to gain momentum and then eventually takes off.

And I'm always slightly in awe of the sheer amount of force and power and work being done as a plane takes off.

And if I'm to personify a plane for a moment, I don't suppose that it is easy work for the plane to take off despite having the fuel required for the work.

It's still an effort, an amount of work and force that needs to be applied to overcome the inertia of gravity.

And that is the reality of what God is calling us to do today, to accept the forgiveness that comes with grace, but then to go on from that and to burn grace like a 747 on takeoff.

The true believer burns grace like a 747 burns fuel on takeoff.

So, how do we burn grace like a 747 to deal with contempt?

Well, as I said, contempt affects you internally, contempt affects your relationship with others and it affects your relationship with Jesus.

Firstly, to deal with grace, you need to go to Jesus.

Matthew 522, if you're offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift in front of the altar.

This presupposes that you're on your way to the altar.

It is only by first going to Jesus and doing the work with Jesus in intimacy and vulnerability with Jesus where you can deal with your sin.

Jesus, when in close communion, will deal with your sin and will help you to deal with your sin.

Not because he's nitpicky, not because he wants to slowly bring out, point out the worst things in you, no, but because he wants you to become like him, which is to be the best version of yourself.

To be in close community with Jesus, using that fuel for the grace, using fuel for the work required, Jesus, you can change your relationship with Jesus.

Stop hiding behind your contempt, stop hiding behind your sin and meet with Jesus.

Second, you've got to go to the people that you hold in contempt, because grace is fuel to change relationships.

Grace to overcome contempt means asking for forgiveness.

If on your way to the altar, you remember an altercation, a problem, a disturbance, a disruption in relationship with your brother or sister, go to that brother or sister, seek reconciliation.

That's what Matthew 5 22 tells us.

Secondly, go to your brother or sister, and or the person you're holding contempt means, a grace overcoming contempt means asking for forgiveness, which is very awkward and is very embarrassing, but it is countercultural, and that is what Christ is calling for.

Reconciliation requires repentance.

Once you've asked for forgiveness, then you need to change your actions.

You need to stop being in this position or putting yourself in this position of superiority and come alongside in humility.

By God's grace, relationship can be healed.

Go and ask for forgiveness.

Finally, grace is fueled to change yourself.

As contempt resides within, the antidote to contempt is humility, which first and foremost resides within.

Romans 12.2, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Inner transformation requires the burning of a lot of grace.

It's taking control of your thoughts, stopping those contemptuous thoughts before you can spark the fire of another sin.

It's stopping those contemptuous thoughts, working on your inner being, on your mind.

You probably need to work out the ways in which you are the Pharisee from that parable, the people that I am walking around inwardly saying, I am superior to them, and dealing with that with Jesus, by his grace, and slowly over time, burning that grace like a 747 on takeoff.

Humility is a healthy dose of thinking about yourself less.

And a lot of this stuff feels like work, sort of because it is.

And it's not that we earn our salvation in any way by using this grace.

You're already saved if you accepted Christ as your saviour.

But grace is not opposed to effort.

And if you don't do the work on your contempt and on your sin, then you will ultimately harm yourself.

You will harm your relationship with people around you, and you'll harm your relationship with Jesus.

But God's grace is sufficient to overcome contempt.

There is sufficient grace for your past sins.

There is sufficient grace for your failings along the journey of trying to sin less and trying to become more like Christ.

But there is sufficient grace for the work required.

By God's grace, can we be a community of people that does what God, that does what Jesus does?

In every situation that Jesus was superior, he chose humility, ultimately leading to his death on the cross.

But through this death on the cross, through Jesus' death on the cross, we have access to this grace, grace that is sufficient to overcome contempt.

Will you bow your heads and pray with me?

Father, we are so thankful for the grace that you give us.

Lord, we have work to do on ourselves to improve our inner being, to be transformed by the renewing of our mind.

We have work to do on our relationships with other people.

And Lord, we have work to do on our relationship with you.

I am so thankful and we are so thankful for the mercy you have for us that covers all of our sin, Lord.

But Father, we are thankful for the grace that we have to become more like Christ.

Amen.

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