Believe Again

Good morning.

If we haven't met yet, my name is Ben.

I'm one of the associate pastors here at NorthernLife.

Easter is over.

Done for another year.

We had a great Easter at NorthernLife.

On Good Friday, we heard from our very own Richard Ford on the question of why did jesus have to shed his blood?

On resurrection Sunday, we heard from the Reverend Dr.

Ross Clifford speaking on the centrality of the resurrection.

We had a big Easter.

We had over 500 people join us across all the services at NorthernLife to worship together, to gather, to celebrate the cross and the resurrection.

Why do I tell you this?

Well, Easter was a high.

For NorthernLife, it was a high.

And life is full of highs and lows, joys and challenges.

And I think there's something about the Easter story, in particular, the events that just happened just after the Easter story, that speak to profound highs and deep lows in the Christian life.

So we want to follow the story of the Gospel, through the cross and the resurrection, and into what happened after the resurrection of jesus appearing to his disciples.

Right now, we sit in the afterglow of resurrection Sunday, one week after we celebrate jesus rose from the dead.

And we find in the Gospels a beautiful picture of the risen jesus appearing to the disciples in this time period, that speaks to some of the pain that the disciples were carrying when jesus shows up.

Today, we're starting a new three-week sermon series called, Again.

This sermon series, our prayer for it is that as we look at the story of that post Easter period of the Gospels, that the Lord would work in us individually and as a church to believe again, to minister again, and to step out again.

If you've ever been hurt spiritually by church, this series is for you.

That you might hear through the word of God in scripture, you might hear the Lord's invitation to you again.

So as we kick off this series and this message, let me pray and commit our time to the Lord.

Father, we thank you for your word.

We thank you for the gospel that we are, those who have been made alive by the grace of jesus on the cross, and in the resurrection that he has life, and we have life because he does.

And for us today, as we come under your word, and we begin a new series, we're seeking to hear what you would have to say to us.

I pray you would make manifest in me your Holy Spirit, help me to get out of the way of what you want to do.

In jesus' name, Amen.

The last message I preached here was in our C23 Vision series.

It was called Big Sundays.

jesus rose again on a Sunday, and the very Sunday night of the resurrection, the disciples, minus one, were meeting together in a room, and jesus showed up in the middle of that room.

So we believe at NorthernLife Sundays are powerful.

There's something powerful about gathering together with the believers, with our brothers and sisters to worship and to encounter jesus.

We want to make Sundays big, and so that was what that message was, the last message I preached.

And the passage for that message was one paragraph before today's passage.

So if I can kind of put these two together somehow, look what happened when Thomas didn't show up on a Sunday.

Sundays matter, don't be like Thomas.

Today we're looking at John 20 and verses 24 to 29.

Frankly, I don't know why this passage exists.

It doesn't have to exist.

If I were to ask you, what is the gospel?

You would rightly say something like the life, death, resurrection of jesus, amen.

But in John's gospel, after all of those things, the life, death and resurrection of jesus, we get a string of stories after the resurrection that John has nonetheless chosen to put in there.

So it maybe doesn't have to exist, but it does exist.

John thought it mattered.

So as we come to the text now, we're trying to discern what John is trying to do through this story.

We're going to work through the passage, top to bottom.

And when we get to something that needs to be explored, we'll stop.

Verse 24, now Thomas, stop.

Who is this guy, Thomas?

Well, it says Thomas, also known as Didymus.

Didymus, as your Bible will tell you, means twin.

I spent a lot of time trying to work out, what does that mean?

Like, how could I preach that?

It means twin.

It doesn't mean anything.

He probably was a twin, and that's why it says that.

Verse 25 tells us Thomas is one of the 12.

That's the 12 disciples, the 12 apostles of jesus.

Thomas appears in every single gospel.

But in Matthew, Mark and Luke, the first three of the four gospels, he appears once each.

And that is only when the gospel authors give their list of the full 12.

Peter, james, John, dot dot dot, Thomas, and he moves on.

He's barely a side character in the gospels, but in the gospel of John, Thomas gets a bit more airtime.

He gets mentioned four times.

So this is huge for him.

But even still, when I say Thomas, what's the first thing you think of?

Doubting Thomas.

That's his name, Doubting Thomas.

We call someone a Doubting Thomas if they will not believe in something unless they are given hard, incontrovertible evidence.

And when we call someone a Doubting Thomas, it's not usually as a good thing.

We mean it as they are non-committal and they will not believe.

Doubting Thomas is not a good thing.

But four times Doubting Thomas appears in the Gospel of John.

The first time is in Chapter 11, when jesus and his disciples find out Lazarus has died.

Thomas says, verse 16 of Chapter 11, Thomas, also known as Didymus, doesn't mean anything, don't worry, said to the rest of the disciples, Let us also go, that we may die with him.

That the hymn is Lazarus.

What a cheerful bloke.

The second time we meet Thomas is in Chapter 14, when jesus says, I'm going to the Father, I'm going to prepare a place for you.

If I go, I'll take you to be with me where I am.

You know the way to the place where I am going.

Thomas rightly says, hold on, we don't know where you're going, so how would we know the way to where you are going?

Fair question.

The third time Thomas appears is in our text, the story of Doubting Thomas, and the fourth time is the time when he went fishing with his mates.

That is the sum total of all of the appearances of Thomas in the Gospels.

By the time we get to our text, this is the third appearance of Thomas in the Gospel of John.

In verse 24, we read, Thomas was not with the other disciples when jesus came, and we're not told why.

He wasn't there last week, on the night of the resurrection.

The story of John 20, 24 to 29 goes on to paint Thomas as sort of this unbelieving, skeptic, cynical character.

Doubting Thomas is the hero of anyone who will not believe unless they see hard evidence.

I think he gets a bad rap.

I think he gets too bad a rap.

We look at him as this cold, cynical, intellectual, looking down his glasses on the bridge of his nose, who will not believe unless he gets hard proof.

But I think that when we look at the characterization of Thomas in the Gospel of John, we actually get a very different picture of what Thomas is like.

When we look at Thomas across the whole Gospel of John, we see someone who so loved his brother and friend Lazarus, that he would wanted to maybe over dramatically die to be with Lazarus.

He's passionate and loving.

We see, and when we look at Thomas, we see someone who is so deeply engaged with jesus in John 14, and so wants to be with jesus, that when jesus makes an assumption that they know where he's going, Thomas says, hang on, hang on, hang on.

Where are you going?

I need to know where you are going because I want to be with you.

Thomas is faithful, passionate, and believing in jesus.

So we get to the third appearance, and I'm reading into it a little bit, but I don't think it's going too far.

What if the reason Thomas wasn't there last Sunday, the Sunday night of the resurrection, alone among the disciples, the only one who wasn't there was because he was too hurt and broken and that he just couldn't be in the room with the disciples?

What if that's why he wasn't there?

Thomas has been hurt, and he carries that hurt with him on Sunday.

A couple of weeks ago, Courtney, my fiancee and I were walking in the bush when we got attacked by a pit bull.

This aggressive, broad-shouldered, mean, off-leash pit bull attacked us, and it bit me on the calf.

And fortunately, thankfully, we had an umbrella with us.

We could literally fight off this raging pit bull.

After the whole thing went down, we walked away, and I sort of had a bit of a limp, because it had bit my calf, my right calf.

One week later, the physical limp had mostly gone away, or had completely gone away, and I was getting a coffee at a cafe near college.

And it's one of those cafes that is a canteen-type thing, where you order from outside.

And as I was approaching the cafe, it was this beautiful day, blue sky, I was listening to music, had a bit of a spring in my step, was loving life.

And I approached the cafe, and there's a big husky outside the cafe, on a five-meter leash, sort of wandering around the people's legs and interacting with the people in the line.

And I froze.

My heart rate went up so fast, my breathing became shallow, and I just froze.

I couldn't even move towards the dog.

And all of a sudden, the memory and the physiological feeling of being attacked by the pit bull one week earlier filled my body.

I could not believe the response I had just to seeing a dog.

I just saw the dog, and it took over me.

Fortunately, you'll be pleased to know I was able to get my coffee by standing sort of outside the range of the dog's leash and approaching sideways.

And a minute later, I was walking away and with my coffee and still shaking, and the caffeine probably wasn't helping that, but I was walking away and I thought, firstly, this will be a great sermon illustration, but secondly, I thought, that dog did nothing to me.

I've never seen it before.

I've seen big dogs heaps of times and interacted with them, never had a problem.

But uncontrollably, I had a physiological reaction to seeing this husky because of the hurt that I carried.

I had been hurt before, and I carried that with me.

Now, that is a trivial, in the scheme of things, a trivial example of a much deeper reality that many of us live with.

We've been hurt before, and we carry that with us.

And for many of us, maybe we don't bear a physical limp, the external signs of our hurt, but we carry a much more real spiritual limp, an emotional, psychological hurt that we carry with us, whether we want to or not.

Repetition rewires the brain.

The same reason that you are able to complete that sentence based on what your brain is able to bring back to mind is the reason why our brain, in its connection with our body, reorients itself around our experience.

It's a self-preservation technique, a tactic of the body to give you that physiological reaction to not go near the thing that hurt you last time.

It's a good thing if it means we can learn muscle memory, learn how to play instruments and do the things that we're good at, but it has a dark side as well of bringing to our bodies the things that we've experienced in the past.

So maybe you feel you were hurt by God.

Maybe you prayed for healing and you gave it all the faith that you had and even still the thing you feared most happened.

You might have been hurt by God, but more likely, much more likely, I think, is you were hurt by church, by a church, by the church, by Christians, people who profess to love in the name of jesus.

They might have hurt you.

I won't ask for a show of hands, but I suspect many, many of us carry with us a hurt from church, a spiritual limp that we walk with.

Coming back to Thomas, here in John 20, I really don't think that he is a flaky, non-committal, intellectual skeptic.

I think he is broken, and he carries a hurt with him.

What if Thomas actually had such great faith, such great passion and expectation in jesus, that when he saw his Lord and brother crucified on a hill before him, it just broke him, and he just couldn't even bear to be with the disciples on the Sunday?

What if that's the story of our Thomas?

What if he's not doubting Thomas, but hurting Thomas?

And what if we're more like that than we think we are?

Many of us are limping, carrying a hurt from church and from Christianity.

We carry a hurt and we live with a limp.

I think Thomas was.

I think he was limping.

In verse 25, the other disciples say to Thomas, with joy, we've seen the Lord.

And Thomas, in the midst of his spiritual limp, he just can't, he can't get his hopes up that jesus might be alive.

He won't let himself hope again because of the hurt that he is carrying.

So he makes a vow.

He makes an, unless X, I will not Y, vow.

In verse 25.

But he, Thomas, said to the disciples, unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, put my hand into his side, I will not believe.

unless X, I will not Y.

It's so natural for us to make these kinds of vows.

We've been hurt in the past, and we don't want to get hurt again.

So we put up walls.

We back off.

We disengage.

We say, unless that person apologizes to me and admits what they did, I will never speak to them again.

unless God answers this prayer, I won't pray again.

I won't even believe in God.

At the end of verse 25, I will not believe.

The Greek is in a form that is emphatic.

Many scholars argue, it might be better translated, I will never believe.

That's what Thomas said.

If we're honest, when it comes to the vows that we make, I think we don't even add the unless.

I will never trust a church again.

I will never share my story again.

I will never serve again.

I'll never get excited about the gospel again.

If you're listening online, you might have said, I will never step foot in a church again.

I felt my body, my heart wanting to say, I will never go near a big dog again.

It's just what our brain wants to do to protect us.

I will never again.

Maybe we've never said it out loud before.

Maybe it's not conscious in our mind.

We haven't articulated it, but the hurt that we carry, the limp that we live with causes us to make vows.

I will never do that again.

And we back off and we put up walls.

Thomas made a vow.

He said, unless I see the nail marks in his hands, put my finger where the nails were and put my hand into his side, I will never believe.

Verse 26, a week later, jesus' disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them this time.

Though the doors were locked, jesus came and stood among them and said, peace be with you.

I think jesus really likes to say that.

Three times in the past two paragraphs, he said, peace be with you.

And fair enough, if you see someone teleport into a room, just materialize, peace would be a good thing to have.

Verse 27, then jesus said to Thomas, put your finger here, see my hands, reach out your hand and put it into my side, stop doubting and believe.

In the midst of Thomas' hurt and the limp that he lives with, jesus meets him.

jesus shows up right there.

The risen Lord jesus, alive but bearing the wounds, of the cross, shows up in Thomas' life.

I love the language that jesus uses.

It so closely matches the specific language Thomas made in his vow.

It's as though jesus heard the vow.

It's as though he cares.

He knows what Thomas is going through.

He knows that Thomas is protecting himself by making an unless X, I will not Y vow.

But even in the midst of that, jesus is so gracious that he meets Thomas there.

He's so gracious.

sometimes we have a theology that says we must muster up all the faith and passion for God that we can in order that he might do something for us.

That if we could just believe hard enough and just do enough, then maybe God would do something for us.

This passage is so clear.

jesus, in the midst of Thomas' faithlessness and his despair, jesus still meets him there.

He doesn't need great faith because he shows up even in the midst of a lack of faith.

That's how gracious he is.

If you've ever been hurt by church before and you're living with a spiritual limp from the pain that you went through, and if you've made a vow, I'll never do that again.

I will never open myself up again.

jesus knows and he cares and he can meet you even there in that place.

Even when we try and put up walls to protect ourselves, to keep jesus out, to keep the world out, to keep church out, that we might protect ourselves, jesus can still meet you there, even in the midst of that.

In Psalm 139, David says, Where can I go from your spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there.

If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, if I vow to never trust someone again, if I vow to never set foot in a church again, if I vow to stay disengaged from community and Christian community for the rest of my life, if I vow to never hope that this church might be different from the last church, from the last church, even there, your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

jesus meets us there, in the midst of what we're going through.

Whatever you went through, whatever you vowed to yourself, you would never do again.

jesus meets you right there, as you are.

He meets you there.

When jesus met Thomas there, faithless Thomas, hurting Thomas, it changed everything for him.

Verse 28, Thomas said to him, My Lord and my God.

The wall that Thomas had built comes crumbling down in the presence of the risen jesus.

The vow that he made is undone, and the hurt that he carries, the spiritual limp that he walks with is taken away and met in the person of jesus.

And I think that's the key for you and I.

In the middle of the hurt that we carry, the limp that we live with, if jesus were to meet you there with an invitation, would you walk with him again?

Would you walk with him from unbelief and despair?

Would you walk with him step by step towards believing again?

A bit of personal experience but mostly common sense tells me this will not change you in an instant.

It did for Thomas, but for us, often it takes time walking with jesus.

But that's the picture, walking step by step with the invitation of our Savior.

I don't want to minimize in any way the thing that you went through, the hurt that you carry and the way that it is affecting your life.

But I want to point you in the direction of the risen Savior who extends an invitation to walk with you again, to pick you up and take step by step by step towards believing again.

I believe He wants to meet you.

He wants to meet you in the middle of what you're going through and walk with you again.

That's what He did to Thomas.

Will you walk with him again?

Accept his invitation to walk slowly, unhurried within his rhythms of grace, walk with him again.

The transformation of Thomas was fast.

In the span of three verses, he goes from saying, unless one, two, three, I will never believe.

Three verses later, my Lord and my God.

The text doesn't even give us any indication that he actually reached out and touched jesus.

He just saw the risen jesus and that was enough.

It was really fast for Thomas.

And in fact, Thomas, his statement, my Lord and my God, is the most profound identity statement uttered from the lips of a human other than jesus about the identity of jesus in the whole Gospel of John.

When you look in the previous pages in the Gospel of John, many, many, many times, jesus is referred to as Lord.

In 20 verse two, Mary Magdalene said, they have taken the Lord out of the tomb.

Later she says, they've taken my Lord away.

Again, she tells the disciples, I've seen the Lord.

The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

The disciples told Thomas, we have seen the Lord.

But now, for the first time in the Gospel of John, my Lord and my God.

The broken, despairing, hurting Thomas is the one who declares the identity of jesus for the first time.

John 1 verse 1 says, in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

It goes on to say the Word became flesh in jesus.

Now, 20 chapters later, Thomas acknowledges it.

This man, jesus, risen from the dead, is God.

Verse 29, then jesus told him, because you have seen me, you have believed.

blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.

That's us.

We haven't physically seen the body of jesus.

John says, jesus says there is a blessedness in believing again, in believing.

Thomas was restored.

He was restored.

The gracious Lord jesus met him in the middle of his hurt and the hurt that he carried, the limp that he lived with, and it was met in the person of jesus.

When you flip the page to John chapter 21, we get this story of the disciples going fishing.

And look who's mentioned, our boy Thomas.

He's restored.

The disbelieving, despairing, hurting Thomas is restored.

Tradition tells us the Apostle Thomas in the year AD 52 sailed to India, where he evangelized, he witnessed for the gospel and the kingdom.

Thomas is recognized as the patron saint of India.

He was restored to a glorious future in the Lord.

He ministered again, believed again, stepped out again, and God did amazing things through him.

Thomas was fully restored and jesus can do the same for you.

No matter what you're carrying, the limp that you walk with, you can be fully restored in Christ.

If you'll accept his invitation to walk with you, to walk with you.

Verse 30 gives us the purpose of John's gospel.

jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book, but these are written that you may believe, and I'll add again that jesus is the messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing again, you may have life in his name.

The hurt that you carry doesn't have to define you forever.

jesus can meet you there.

And I believe even today and through the rest of this sermon series, he is extending an invitation to us to give it to him and to walk again with him towards belief.

Let me pray.

Lord jesus, we thank you for your grace, your amazing grace that you showed us on the cross, and the grace that you would show up in our lives, even in the midst of the hurt that we carry, even in the midst of the times when we don't even want to be near you.

You show up in your grace, and you extend an invitation to us of life and of walking again.

So I pray for just every person listening to this in the room, online, and in the future.

Would you appear to us?

Would you make yourself so real in our hearts, in our lives?

That we would see you, we would hear your gracious invitation to walk again from despair to believing again.

Help us please, Lord.

We pray in your name, Amen.

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